政局疑惑

迟些日子,反对党领袖安华的肛交案即将下判了，他的命运已依然是个未知数。法庭的判决很大程度上将影响大马原本就很混乱的政局，尤其是执政党，他们已经处于骑虎难下的情况。

话说回来，马来西亚的青年依然面对三大冷感：政治冷感，经济冷感，时事冷感。尤其政治冷感最为严重，到现在依旧有人把林冠英当成是马华的人。

执政党的愚民政策做得非常成功，其结果是青年分成几派人马：一，政治冷感，完全不理会政治的事情，只追求时尚，消费，物质；二，积极参政，欲当改革先锋；三，利益当先，任何与钱有关的都有兴趣，不管是什么政党，只要有利益便靠拢；四，移民派，积极存钱准备移民；五，坐墙派，处于观察者的角色，关心时事却不参与改革，只希望利用手中一票来改变。

每个国家均有这样的帮派，但是马来西亚却分得很裂，至少非常“多元化”，难以凝聚。

如今，大选已近，不知道大家登记了吗？国家的改革就在我们的手上，千万不要不当一回事。

部长们明目张胆得贪污，甚至还将之合理化为理所当然的事情。鲨鱼姐的“找吃论”非常经典，认为乌铜亏待了她们妇女组。反贪局官员的“买贵论”也让人乍舌，他认为稽查师的年度报告如同吃饭一样，有时只是（买）吃贵了，绝对不是贪污。

我不知其他国家怎么样忍受这样的政客，但是我国人民可谓大量的不得了，听了就算，一点感觉也没有。

你呢？

朋友,你变了

当初认识你的时候，大家都谈得很投契，“吹水”乃是你我最喜欢做的事情。开学不久便认识到你，我觉得自己的大学之路并不孤单，我并不是一个人走的。

第一个学期的轻松导致大家的松懈，你并不怎么样喜欢做练习之类的事情，而我为了禰补自己数学的不足而日做夜做，只求可以过关，顺顺利利毕业。尽管大家的性格不同，我们之间的友谊已经消除了隔膜。临近大考时，你还大言不惭地说要拿到一个A回家报答妈妈。

第二个学期，成绩出炉时你自己确实感觉很好，没有A但总算全过关，我们当中大部分都至少有一科不及格。那时的我还真的以为，你应该是我们当中最顺利毕业的。因时间表的关系，大家比较鲜少有机会一起共餐，但总是找机会一起出去吃点好的，吹下水过日子。还记得Kin不来大考的事让被你批评的体完无敷。

第三个学期，因为松懈而导致不及格的科目有两科，你还是坚持继续读下去，说什么一定要拿到一张文凭才罢休。整个学期你也变得越来越情绪化，没什么要读书的感觉，而我依旧认为大家走在同一条路上。

第四个学期，其实我们不应该有第四个学期，无论如何，第四个学期坚持下来的朋友已经所剩无几。我又以为我们俩应该是最后的生存者。不到两个星期，你跑过来告诉我：“我决定退学！”，我还不认为你是认真的，原来是我太单纯。因为要减轻母亲的负担，因为要追求自己的理想（不知道是什么?），因为不想浪费时间...等等的理由，你离开了大学，闯入保险界，当起经纪人来。

你的变化始于这里，那天后，你的功利之心开始显现，没了以往的样子。我隐约看到了你的心，越来越来资本化了，
所做的一切开始具有目的性。我不否认自己也有这样的一面，但是发生在你身上还真叫我吃惊。

朋友，我们的对话似乎少了当初的欢乐，多了很多现实，很多数字，很多...你回来，好吗？我不希望你这样的样子。

或许我不该期望。

久违的老同学

没有多少个人的中学是独自一人度过的,至少也有几个知己或一大班朋友陪伴。上了大学，心理的孤独感是很强烈的，认识新朋友也比以前困难得多，好不容易才认识的几位好友，最后也因为各自的理由而分离异地。

中学时期的同学总比大学的好很多，起码大家都互相认识，彼此之间也没有隔膜。一切都不一样了，大学的生涯也来的紧凑一些，很多所谓的同学都是点头之交，大家都在赶时间似的。

今天吃饭时遇到了两年没见的同学，他依旧那样调皮，见到我还拍打我的屁股，若非他开口说话，我还真认不出是他。很多人都变了，至少外表方面，但是我依旧是老样子，所以我比较容易被认出来。

原来岁月不留人是真的，希望下次回去时能见到他们吧！

想要的总是多过需要

人的生存,生活,和生命都存在着欲望。推动人类社会文明发展的是欲望，推动新科技的创新是欲望，推动经济发展是欲望，即使是谈恋爱也是一种欲望。人类离不开欲望，没有欲望的人是如同行尸走肉般的存在。这个世界因为欲望而不断繁衍和变化。

欲望是双刃刀，即可建设，亦可破坏。在人类的历史中，支配欲强的国家领导总是发动战争去占领别人的领土；求知欲强的人则不断发现科学，世界航海图，大自然的奥妙等等。世界之所以那么不同，欲望也贡献不少。现代人所追求的，已逐渐从利己利他到损人利己的地步了。很多时候，事业更上一层楼只不过是为了过上好一点的生活，为了社会地位，为了金钱。

人若无法控制自己的欲望，很快就会被欲望侵蚀。被侵蚀的人永远只活在满足欲望的生活里，完全失去应有的自主性。想要的永远多过需要的，需要的永远超越自己的能力，自己的能力不达标时，极端的思维就会破涌而出。看看现在的中东社会，阴谋论一派的总是说是西方人搞的鬼，宗教派的总是说是回教被打压了，不管是什么，他们（人民）对自身的欲望被别人利用而浑然不知是很可悲的。

跟上潮流，真的是最好的吗？潮流也是一种被创造出来的一种欲望，一种可以被商业化的欲望。这种欲望的形成主要是满足一种虚荣感，一种可以让人拥有“站在前面”的自信心。同时，也是一种羊群心理，担心自己被淘汰，担心自己无法结交朋友等等。为什么是跟随而不是创造呢？创造的欲望不是更激烈一些吗？这点是在于个人的观点，如果人被教育成同一种样子，他们就觉得变成跟他人一样是绝对安全，绝对保障。所以为什么创新性的人才总是那么少，人们早已习惯了坐享其成，这种被压制的欲望多多少少也拜填鸭式教育的关系。

水可覆舟，亦可翻舟。欲望始终是本性，是存在的一种表现，善用它而不是非理性地被侵蚀。

成功了!

经历了好多的困难,频密的练习,加上前辈们的体谅,昨天的表演总算顺利完成！！在完成的那刻，我心里有种说不出的成就感！虽然我觉得我们已做得不错了，但进步空间还是有的。
　　
　先说说我们原先的计划吧！一开始，唱歌是我们的选择，因为时间并不长，唱歌是最好的选择了。奈何，我们选的歌只有两分钟半，会让人觉得我们诚意不足，只是在敷衍全部人。经过一番的讨论后，决定以两首歌作为我们的表演．看似没问题，其实才是最大的问题。唱ｌｉｏｎ　ｋｉｎｇ时已经很耗气的了，接着另外一首更考技巧！我们也意识到，我们并非专业性质，所以又换了计划。
　　
　这一次决定了演戏剧，以变性人为主题，但没想到我被点中担任“女主角”！一开始我不觉得会怎么样，毕竟只是表演，把欢乐带给大家才是重点。问题总是在把剧本呈现出来的那一刻．．．我崩溃了。演变性人本来就不简单（剧本需要专业的演出），奈何最难跨越的就是我心里的底线。或许缘自于自小的观念，我并不讨厌变性人，但却不怎么喜欢娘娘腔的男生，觉得他们有辱男生。这次的角色却同时把变性人和娘娘腔结合起来，更甚的是，在戏剧里我还有“男朋友”，还要上演求婚记！在练习后，我心里的压力越来越重，到了极限，我才知道我本来就无法接受这种如此具有冲突性的角色。

　我无法在演习中与大家演出，因为我深知自己已经无法投入演出，尽管我尝试让自己豁出去。这种情况下，自身的心理压力加上大家的期待的眼神，我崩溃了！这次的崩溃让我意识到，做不来就别勉强自己了，本来是要把欢乐带给大家，但自己无法让自己尽情时，再努力也是徒然的。

　幸亏我的组员们，或者说，我的伙伴们赶紧来个大转变，把原有的计划完全更换。这可是很大的赌注，因为时间只剩下三天左右，如果完全转换，意味着我们必须用更多的时间去完成。事实证明，我们找到了均适合大家的剧本兼来个随兴的作风来扭转趋势！Ｌｉｏｎ　Ｋｉｎｇ依旧是主题曲，不过我们把剧本换成了为了表演而吵架的剧情。过程中，我们反而更开放地演出，因为我们都演回自己，再加上随兴的对白，这表演可说是创新啊！

　表演后，我们一致获得大家的认同！这次的表演可说是我人生的成就，虽然不怎么值得挂齿，却是建立起自信心的起步啊！以后有机会的话，我们六人组必定要再度到舞台上来！

无言

适应了大学生活后,一切开始走样.先是越来越不专心上课,接着又浪费了很多时间在无意义的事情上,内心的心虚感一直地不断在增强. 好了,每次计划事情时总是失败,最后只好放弃不做.

话说回来,多几天就是表演了,可是连角色都还没揣摸出来,真的很担心自己会表现不达标.演员是要全心投入的,情绪必须拿捏得好才能演得精彩.不过又不能给自己太大压力,否自就弄巧反拙.

好好努力吧!

New Day!

Studying in Kampar is a good idea for me. Since I was planning to do so when I had my registration for foundation course, unfortunately I couldn't reach here when I was told that I must complete my foundation in PJ.

Just 2 days I am here, but the environment is better than what I had been expecting.
Nice people with delicious foods, also a thing that I can't deny--- the paradise for the guys!! I mean there are a lot of pretty girls at here.

Maybe I have to be proactive in participating activities of SGM or socialising, for my future, I can't be alone.

Ending of the foundation life.

Wow! An amazing life in PJ is nearly to the end ! I have related article(s?) before and almost I would get mixed feeling while I was writing.

A promise has been made to my friends which a compulsory(^^) must be fullfiled when we are graduate. Nothing more I shall leave but a Tan Chee Hoong in everyone's heart. I am grateful to be here for year as I have learned so much and grown from a easy-boiled to a half-boiled.

Thanks everyone for tolerances me. Thanks!! Goodbye PJ!

Say Goodbye to Kamen Rider OOO

Since September of 2010, Kamen Rider OOO has accompanied me for a year. In the year, I have been through my Foundation Life. No doubt, KROs is my favourate as it has been my first series that watching from begin to the end without missing any episode out.

At the beginning, I could not accept KROs' design. It is a Three Beasts Combination in one body which is divided into head, body and lower body by inserting three different core medals into the belt. The Tatoba combo is the default form as well as the basic appearance. When Eiji(main character) transforms, Tatoba combo mostly will be the first choice.

When the programme was running, many rumours about its final form. Something like W before, a final form transformation will be based on the default form which is saying that supposed it must be transformed into default form then only able to access to final form. Well, we were wrong.

Since the Purple medals appeared in the series, I had been expecting a final form which is transformed based on Tatoba Combo would be revealed soon. Unfortunately, it did not happen. Officially, KROs has no a truly final form. We were told that the Dino Combo was the unofficially final form as official final form is "all combo forms".

It doesn't make me sad at all. Finally this series has gone to the end. I can say that, KROs is one of the best series that I have ever seen. Hopefully there will be few of the movies is going to be released soon.

Awaiting Competition

The OSK Investment Challenge is going to be held soon! I am so exciting to know about that! It's been a long time I have been waiting for this competition which is a investment competition open for all the university students.

The thing I am worrying about that is I will be off from the internet for awhile when this competition is started. This competition is to be held soon but the accurate date still remains unknown as probably I am home(Kuantan) when it starts off.

Now, everyone is more excited about the coming soon competition. Last year, I was losing almost all of my given capital when I started playing. In that rushing playing times (I was having classes when the competition started), I had only few choices to invest in. Nothing more, the stocks that I picked were not really performing well. Their prices were sharply tumbled. I sold off them emotionally without thinking well.

Second day, I was told that the competition was end. No doubt, disappointing for my performance. Anxiously selling off the stocks is dangerous act, though the market is going down, calm and collected are necessary.

With the lesson I have been through, the mistake will not be repeated again this time.

I have selected three stocks which will be invested during the competition. How well will be the selected stocks performing? We will find out soon.

Start Off

Have you ever faced a embarrassing situation like no money in your wallet? I do believe most of us have. If you have not faced it before, congratulation! You are aware in financial planning.

I felt regret to be unaware in financial planning. Without a strong mindset to force, I can't even to save RM 1! It is difficult to survive without any money in pocket, even I have to borrow money from my housemates.

Put this aside. Let us talk about financial planning. In our daily life, most of us know how much we have spent monthly but not daily. Eventhough we know the amount but just a concept, not the accurate amount.

I had done some kind of thing before. Well, just lack of patience. I gave up on the half of the way until now. Now I only regret with I did. I should not be giving up easily. I can understand what is the feeling of "no money" now.

Start from now, financial planning is my essential in my life.

Foundation Life

About 1 more week, my foundation life will be going to the end. It is unexpectedly that I have been staying here for 1 year and 3 months.

When I revise, I always be grateful that I am here and I am growing up because I am here. Before that, I could not speak English, I could not know what is stock market, I could not know what is the spirit of mentor and disciple...many I could not know if I was not here.

I did not expect I would have a extent trimester as I thought I was going through everything smoothly without staying back here. Everything was out of my reach when I attended my first tutorial class---Mathematics, a subject which I hated so much before I was a secondary student.

Mathematics has been my nightmare since form 2, and until now, sem 4. Well, I am not going to give up easily just because I hate it. The only way I overcome it is to start loving this subject. At least I still cope with it after I have been through three semesters, improvement was made by asking question frequently to my friends (I should call them as my comrades as we had fought and striven together), doing extra exercise though it was difficult to solve, and understanding the terms that was deemed to be important.

Unexpectedly and fortunately, I am able to solve the questions that deemed to be difficult for me. I want to thank my comrades for helping me a lot during my foundation life, though sometimes I was depressed because of Mathematics. Most of them are ongoing their degree courses now. I want to be one of them when this trimester started off, I made a wish. Now this wish would not be far.

Many things need to be recalled are too much. Also the people I want to thank are too much. The only way I repay is to graduate from university, get a degree certificate and make a great life. Goodbye, PJ foundation centre.

Uncertainties are still remained

Due to the recent the US downgraded and Eurozone debt crisis, the investors are afraid of their investments would become a piece of paper. Yet their fears have given impact to the stock markets as mass of selling off have been ongoing and the gold price was hit to the high record while the investors put their remaining money on the gold investment.

No doubt, the US has no any idea but to print more money in order to boost the economy of the US that has been weaken since past decade. Also, a near zero interest rate policy has been approved and implemented until year 2013. In Euro, because of the default by Greece, the union has fallen into the debt crisis as the members have to spend hundred of billions to save Greece. But the European Central Bank(ECB) has made an remaining policy of Europe Dollar up to 2% interest rate.

I don't talk the ways of these two regions in policy-making. What I would like to talk is Malaysia. Malaysia was one of the most concerned market in the region. Yes, Malaysia was but is not for now. Since the year 1997's crisis, Malaysia tightened its monetary policy to avoid short-selling of the Ringgit Malaysia which Malaysia was hit and economy got damaged by the mass selling off of Ringgit Malaysia by foreign fund group(there was alleged that was Quantitative Fund, controlled by prominent investors, George Soros).

Until now, Malaysia remains same state as before as its economy growth eased and slowed, nothing improvement has been done. Government has launched a lot of infrastructure and construction projects to boost the economy. Well, this only benefits the GLCs. It doesn't work on expanding economy but it hits the property price to high record ever. Rather than that, government did nothing on other sectors like education. We do have many jokes in policy-making of education that whole Malaysians fed-up with their(policymakers) inconsistency.

In the stock market, most of the companies share prices are undervalued. Due to the stock market tumbled, many of the people are getting away from it. The daily-trading volumes are decreased to 30%, which only almost 300-400 out of 1000 stocks are being traded in daily. This data shows that people no longer believe in the official news or announcements as they rather to believe in rumours.

Still, weaken currency has hit the trading between countries especially exports. Malaysia relies on export as one of the main income of Malaysia. Not only ringgit but the US dollar is being depreciated rapidly currently until 1 dollar=RM 2.97. Domestics consumption is enough to spur the confidence of consumers.

I wonder why uncertainties are still remained and fluctuation currently. Do we have any medicine to recover back?

Upholding the interest of people is priority

Current situation of politic and economy in Malaysia is not well, even worsened. Politic and economy have no own natural trends, all are human made.

For a many years we have implemented English in Mathematics and Science in our education system. There was prompting controversial when it was purposed, and it had been implemented straightly without any hesitating,though raising argument. After many years students have adapted it,another "good news" were come out by the education department---resuming old method. We were totally surprised by the decision of the minister, just a years the method was implemented, they changed their minds quickly, also with the decision was made.

Many people said that they (governors) only made decision by considering political affection and political interest. Upholding the interest of people was just a talk, a bullshit talk. Our generations are always being manipulated by the governors, affected by their decision, but did they think about this? No, they never. Who uphold the interest of people? MCA? UMNO? MIC? PGR? 54 years we have passed through,54 years we have independent, 54 years we have voted for them....

Economy part is the painful part. We do(did) have many prominent businessmen, engineers, doctors, scientists,actuaries, lecturers, politicians...but most of them are not in Malaysia, even they gave up their citizenship. Directly and indirectly, our economy slumping year by year, our talents running off from this country....

We feel pain. They supposed to be the parts of development of the country, they supposed to strengthen the country, and they supposed to contribute a lot in the country. Indeed they did, but not in Malaysia, though they are(were) Malaysians.

Does Najib resolve the problem? He doesn't. All what he did recently was just to show his will that he was willing to resolute the country, not only for his cliques.
I don't think he can survive in next General Election.

A few years later, we are becoming second Greece. Will we? I hope we won't.

Rely on ourselves

My foundation (extent trimester) life is nearly to the end, about 4 weeks from now will be my final exam. Time passes by quickly, I have no realized I have been spending a lot of time in "planing and thinking" rather than "doing and acting".

Put the disappointment aside, actually I have achieved something in this trimester. My economy and politic view has been enriched through reading various internet sources and newspaper like Wall Street Journal.

From the perspective of me, I do believe that the capital market's condition in the U.S is getting worst ever than I thought. Not only me but majority of the observers couldn't agree more with it.

Too much of spending in spurring economy (the result is failed), the domestic consumption is declining (confidence of consumers declined due to the high rate of unemployment), and the most people fed up with it---politic infighting.

Like most of the countries, policymakers do not uphold the interest of public but themselves. The U.S' Congress deadlock had shown that people are getting difficult to live, and always combat with the high inflation but the Congressmen just uphold the interest of themselves.

These reminded me the situation of Malaysia. The governors always says that our economy is getting better growth every year, we are heading to become an advanced and high income country. Who are believing their words? Less than half of people will put high expectation on it.

Experiences tell us that we must not believe to the government's words, even their statistics, all could be lie.

The Unpredictable Stock Market

There are always people saying that the shares prices are determined by the market demand. Even though we had undergone three times global financial crises, that theory is still the ultimate believing of some investors, or more accurately as speculators.

Emotional decisions were made by the speculators when the market exposes in a uncertain situation such as war, unrest politic state, and downturn of the economy which they could spur the emotions of the speculators to substantially sell off their shares to cut loss.

Why the speculators were easily being influenced? The fear of the unknown is the main reason. We do not know when the end of the world is coming, we cannot predict when the cyclone will assault the city, and we are not able to control or manipulate the share prices. Shall we mock them? Well, it is normal respond on the fear, but why they had never thought that who have the ability to manipulate the shares prices?

The major shareholders or the richer men, or an organized of fund managers? Indeed those people have the power to sweep up the stock market to get profit. It have been seen, the stock market, is always being manipulated.

We shall not try to predict the unpredictable of the stock market. It same as you are playing with the fire and trying to drive them by your irrational. Does it work? No, there is nobody does and it always be.

Speculations would not be vanished, even can be forever existing. There is one thing we need not to be, the last foolish man.

Three Stands For The MRT Project

Every citizen of Klang Valley has the common discontent about the public transportation system in the city. Buses always arrive late, KTMs never satisfied the increasing demand of the passengers, and yet the LRTs unable to reach those populated locations.

While the expected improvements on those public transportation system have yet to be done, a new mega project, MRT was launched by the government, the project which it was declared to ease the seriousness traffic jam in Klang Valley area. After the announcement was made, it was almost the hottest topic and bringing controversy among the city.

There are three stands, agree and support, disagree and discontent, and the last---objectiveness stand. We can imagine the agreements are more being by the investors, developers, the government, and the property holders, the disagreements are more being by the middle-low incomers while the moderate viewers always are the rational people, higher institute researchers, and the middle-high incomers

Main points are being exposed as the MRT could boost the located properties prices especially the living house. The most substantial potential is hidden in the Sungai Buloh area, the first station of the MRT. When the news came out, many financiers predicted that the location would become the focus point in the future. Meanwhile, the property market had been injected confident and many people are putting their eyes on Sungai Buloh,the golden opportunities to be grabbed.

But is it really can benefit the people? The more concern is who are able to make investment in property market by huge amount to be spent, even the most people are struggling to buy a house? High inflation has brought the worried among the people, and the purchasing powers are decreasing rapidly. Also, the high prices of the houses are causing the anger of the most people where they are not able to bear the installment payment with a long timing(30 years).

Yet,the another burden of the people is a depreciating asset---car. With the such services provided by the current Public Transports, more people are tend to own a car in order to save time. So, do the people agree with the project? Mostly no, as can be seen that the MRT only fits the certain areas not the macro areas.

Question regarding the disagreement, why doesn't the government improve the current public transports but spending huge amount to launch the mega project? Well there is no answer for this question, but the official answer will instead of it---other countries also developed the same system. If it is, why doesn't the government imitate the bus services from other countries? "Indeed we have considered and discussed about it, but the MRT plan is more suitable"...like what my friend always says that, I...I...I got nothing to say ah!

What about the moderate stand or the objectiveness viewers? Their views are: The project brings advantages and disadvantages at the same time. Expectantly it will boost up the economy as there are more shops to be set up, more people to be employed, also including the property market, more houses to be invested and owned. Much more than that, the traffic jam can be resolved and eased. But the overbudget issue always coming out when a mega project is launhing, now it likely to cost RM36.6billion, taxpayers have to pay for it. Also, in the short term time, the living cost may sour as the boosted economy will cause inflation in the country.

By having three types of stands, the government should know how to avoid the stating problems. Furthermore, the purpose must match the benefit of the people, not the small group of the invisible people.

No more emotional

A few days ago, I was moody because of high expectation of result. I always reminded myself that I have undergone a long moody days, I shall not repeat the same emotionally life in the rest of my life.

Emotion is not a software,or like a switch that we are able to have its full control. It is like the weather, unpredictable and unexpected of its presence.

When I depressed,I felt the darkness eroded into my mind and heart. My positive minds were consumed by the darkness, an infinity negative cycle running out and eliminating my positive attitude.

There was no light more in my world, just filled of the darkness that led me could not see any hope. I was scared, anxious, and hopeless. Any urging could not push me back to the light, the darkness had had my mind.

People always say that, when there is a light at there, the opposite must be a darkness, if there is a darkness raising, light will confront with it.

Indeed, the light would be raising if I accepted my failure and stood up and fought against with the darkness. The key was in my mind, I wanted to combat with the weakness of too emotion. The light came along in my mind after I woke up---overslept.

Yeah. It was funny, but it was real. After a long sleeping night, the darkness vanished! Maybe I should discover it early as sleeping could make me out of the situation? It could be true if sleeping could overcome my emotion problem but it is not a long term solution that I should have.

What else can I do after this? Keep striving with my own strengths and enhancing my confident. Oh, there is something I forgot to speak out. An Ultraman or a Kamen Rider needs transformation to gain ability to fight with those monsters, in other words, we shall transform ourselves in order to make something success, not stay back to shirk the problems.

We need solution, not complains.

My expectation

I have been here (PJ) for a year, now I am just hoping that I can escape from here as I am fed up with the costly live at here, higher prices with lower bearable.

It is not about save cost and get a part time job, so I would get a balance in my account but the thing I want to point out is I am quite bored with the big city life, and I still cannot compromise with the environment.

Kampar, a place which I would spend about 3 years to stay at there to pursue my degree course, in the main campus. I expect I can have some changing in my life when I proceed to there. To be honest, I do not want to repeat the same way where I have been always doing in PJ, bad habits like oversleep, spend money irrationally, stay at home all the time and etc. Change, is my priority in my mind, an essential act that I should not give up easily when the progress is ongoing.

Now, the plan is still in my mind. Persistence is my weakness, a weakness that affects mt action. I always giving up when I face frustration. Am I still considered as a loser? Indeed, I am. This is why I am still be here to declare that the change is still continued.

Lastly, My expectation is to eliminate my bad habits that I have mentioned, and to be the one of the resolution.

还是要做回自己吗？

很矛盾，我觉得很矛盾，甚至已经到了自我质疑的地步。本来我常强调做回自己是最实在，不须为他人的眼光而活，这样的自己才是最自然的、最舒服的。但是我好像错了，我们必须不时自我反省，以便能够达到别人眼中的成功模样？？难道我们一定要这样才能活得开心？

不对啊！如果每个人都被刻意打造成一个模样，那岂不是跟机械人没什么两样？有统一的思想，一样的成功模式，打交道的圆滑。。。我开始觉得我们像是木偶，必须任人操作、任人摆布、别人说我们应该这样，我们就得跟。我很泄气，很懊恼，也很无奈，生活终究是要过的，只是每个人都选择不同的方式去应对。而我其实还满消极的，没有想过以正面的态度面对反而不断的在打击自己，为的只是逃避自己本来是有能力面对现实的事实。

我相信每个人都有优缺点，重点是必须尽量挖掘自己潜在的优点，努力改善自己的缺点。缺点可改善，优点亦能培养出来。要怎么样才能做到呢？我也很疑惑，方法固然有，要怎么样才能找到最适合自己的？确实我是在寻找中，趁我还年轻，这问题一定要变成答案！

Medium Man

It was a neutral day for me, while I was heading to UTAR. Initially, I attempted to do my revision in the library, but I did not do so as I had met with a friend---Ivon, a former science stream student who transferred to be an art stream student one year ago. We sat and started talking.
As usual, we talked a lot about politics and economy, but this time politic had become the hottest topic, unexpectedly. Ivon told me about how the politicians involved in corruption, how the money to be transferred without exposing, and...who is(are) going to do this kind of job? The job that I mention is not about the transaction but a medium man. Yes, a medium man like an agent.
I could not believe that there is such job, serving for the politicians. Well, I am not interesting to be the medium man but quite surprised that how the money to be transferred.
Actually, I didn't remember how it works..xp

The Day of Malaysians

Just a week before the rally, the police were having roadblocks and transport disruptions in certain KL areas such as Masjid Jamek, KL Sentral as those areas would be the location of the rally. It seemed like the government was afraid of the rally would cause "rioting and destructive" to the country and economics, and had illegalised the organization---Bersih as an illegal organization.

This action had caused the condemnations from various organizations and countries like Taiwan, Australia, and New Zealand. But the government insist alleging the Bersih is an organization that "communism and intentionally take over the regime", people should not believe its concept and attend the rally.

I was not surprised what the government did, just felt that these were unfairness to the people who did not know the truth of the behind. After the rally had ended, the updated news were full on various e-media especially Faceboook! Undoubtedly, facebook was playing an important role in this affair, which nowadays people didn't need to rely on the mainstream medias as they were under control of the government.

That day, Malaysians had shown their kindness, mutuality,unity,and patriotically. We shall never forget---the day of Malaysians

Narrow Markert

Klang Valley is a special region that combining Kuala Lumpur, Petaling Jaya, Shah Alam, and Klang in order to create a great populated economy region. After development of a few decades, Klang Valley undoubtedly become the most developed and populated region in the country. Whatever projects to be launched will be intensively allocated in Klang Valley areas especially properties and constructions.

This could result this region has become the most attractive market for the investors, as most of the developments are done here. Also, KV is a central of higher education institutions, so every year there will be a large number of students pursue their higher education at here. Consequently, it has spurred the demand of property and food industries, caused development unstoppable as the governors are trying to satisfy the demand.

Retaining talents had become the first issue of those companies at that time. By the spurring of the demand and government policies, most of the companies set up their head quarters at KV. Establishments of those companies also created innumerable jobs for the people caused more people migrated to KV to seek better jobs and enjoy the benefits that brought by the development. Finally, the cycle is unstoppable.

We might wonder that is that only one region we could get a better education, job, or living life? The answers could be saying that Peneng and Johor Bharu are equally developed, so we should not narrow our views. Is that true? It could be true, but there are many people cannot satisfy with this. Why only those three areas being developed but not other states? Why everything in KV? Why?

I am not able to answer these questions, because I am not the decision maker. As an emerging market in the world, the inequality development has caused a lot of social problems in the country. The declining population of less developing states like,Perlis, Negeri Sembilan, Pahang, Terengganu, Sabah, Sarawak, Kelantan, and Kedah. Most of the youths are proceeding their higher educations in KV, or seeking jobs after graduate.

The side effects also bring many issues to the country. As mentioned, inequality chances of seeking jobs, inequality incomes between states but corresponding inflation rate,causes declining purchasing power of the people. Not other than that, Malaysia has narrowed the business market as the KV areas are the most purchasers region.

It takes time to develop other states, but government does not resolve to do so. Since the economy market of Malaysia has been narrowed, I doubt that Malaysia will be facing a long term economics recession.

Prepare well before performing

After attending the 2011 peace proposal forum, two Acad M members and I were going back by boarding senior' car. While we exchanged our opinion after attending the forum as three of us were in Mandarin forum, he was in English forum.

No doubt, he pointed out that the performances of the speakers were not really satisfied as the speakers did not prepare well before speaking. I knew it, or I should say I did not expect they would do it very well not because average ages of those speakers were below 21 years old, but the preparations were insufficient!

On the way of going back, he shared a lot of his views about the contents of the forum. The point is we shall not underrate the questioning that audiences do, as I can see those speakers were not able to answer the audiences questions. More directly, They had no prepared well before the presentation, and they had underrated the questions that would be asked by the audiences.

Although they can't perform well but I think that the improvement still can be done. Once learnt from mistake, they shall know the essential of preparation.

Nonsense

Recently there were a lot of news about the GLCs.As we know, Government-Link Companies have the power to manipulate the capital market of Malaysia especially Petronas and Sime Darby and because of backed by the government, they are capitalized.

Let's get into the point, today I am going to talk about Proton. Proton could be proud of Malaysian if it is managed by the experts or talents.The reality is always crucial, with the political factors considered, Proton is managed by a group of assholes. I apologize for my inelegant words but those people are pretending as experts while actually they are not!

With the two and half of the decades, the management team is not able to prove their ability to manage the company! In the other words, they are failure. Almost faces net loss every year, super low quality of the productions, brainless management policies, too relies on the government, lack of creativity and innovateless...there are a lot of problems faced by them but it seems like they do not have any intention to re-form and resolute the company as their market has been overtaken by Preodua!

Like what did the MD of Proton, Syed Zainul say:"Proton is not a perfect company, public should be understanding us". Wow! It was true and we should not expect they perform better in the future? As Malaysians, we should support productions that made in Malaysia? When I was thinking those bored questions, I was surprised by another spoken, "Proton produces every single car in 98 seconds, don't blame us as we have no time to check every single part of every single of the car"...again,by Syed Zainul.

It was awesome! This was the first time I heard that, and I almost can't believe that I had misunderstood them? With the such efficiency of "manufacturers a car in 98 seconds",should I change my negative impression of Proton?! The answer is obviously, Never and Ever! Unless,they are able to prove that they can compete with other brands without any protected policies by the government.

Conclusion? Nonsense!

Characteristics

We are human, and we do have different characteristics between different people. Sometimes, we don't like somebody just because we can't accept his/her characteristics or some habits that he/she used to it.

Let's give an example,if you feel that somebody is really annoying, you can just interrupt his/her talking and change the topic to which you are familiar for, but not try to do nothing. If you feel somebody always lying, you can just tell him/her directly "can you just stop lying? .

Well, actually there is no way to say that we could change other people by ourselves. Indeed, we shall accept their characteristics and try not to reject.

Will is stronger than fear

After I watched the new movie "Green Lantern", I found out that there was something interesting in the movie.

"Will is stronger than fear", this is what does he say(one of the Green Lantern, I forgot the his name =='). I am admitting that we are weak of will because of fear, the afraid of unknown. Actually the will determines our actions, what do we do are reflected from our minds,wills.

Indeed, this movie is telling us that we should fearless in anything, I mean any kind of challenge. Our life will not always go smoothly and successfully, we do have something difficult to overcome and always in challenging. When we are ongoing, we would fear, and we could be beaten by the feeling of fear without any courage.

As a conclusion, we should start training our minds in order to form a stronger will as we can overcome the fear that we could not see.

Went wrrong

I couldn't believe that I did that thing, I felt like I was terrible! Since I felt alone, so I decided went to... but the feeling after doing it, I didn't feel happy!

It was ridiculous, something went wrong on me? Well, I think I did! Lacking of those, I have decide to get a job in order to earn extra!

Believing or despairing?

Although I have been doing nothing for Kuantan citizens---my hometown and I could not even brave myself to join the "save Malaysia"!

The report completed by the hired "experts" stated that this thing will not affect Kuantan citizens' health and it is harmless for the people. Harmless? Experts? OMG, the state and federal government still treating people as three years old kids! They are lying!!

Everyone(I don't think all Malaysians) knows that, 12 years tax holiday and RM5 billion net profit per year actually are just meaningless numbers, the losses are uncountable!!!

What will the state government lose? First, human resources. After it is approved to start operating, the citizens will get fear and run away from Kuantan in order to have a more safety living environment! Who doesn't want it? Second, the chain of losing the residents is the prices of properties will be getting dropped immediately! If there are a lot of people leaving the place, will you invest in that place as you were an investor? Third, pollutions! I don't think I have to explain and elaborate in this.

Who is(are) going to save Kuantan? Nobody does but all Malaysians, especially Kuantan citizens do!! Kuantan is our homeland, we must protect it to prevent the same tragedy happens again! We don't want Lynas!! Go away from Kuantan, we want nothing but a originally beautiful city !!

We shouldn't be believing in the government, if we can't stop Lynas operating, we will do it during the next election!! Vote for ourselves,citizens, and our next generations!! Anan Yaxxxxx,najxx,sultxx,and UMXX, please think about the people, not the profit on the accounting book!!! If you want to raise the state government income, there are many ways to do that,not do it by taking high risk(losing voters)!

Hopefully the state government and Lynas will be realized after listening to opposition opinion from us. Nothing is more important than the lives!

十字路口

终于结束了一个学期,也算是松了一口气,奈何恶梦才刚开始. 成绩不理想,一科不及格导致我必须留级一个学期,也就是说我得等到明年一月才入学学士课程.

现在的问题是我不能呆在家里浪费时间当驻米虫,至少也赚点外快(或说赚点生活费),不然肯定无所事事,耳根也无法清静...话说我无法过关也算是预料之中的事,毕竟我的统计数学的确疏于练习,在考场上也出现自乱阵脚的情况,被"恐慌"蒙蔽双眼. 考完后,我还心有余悸的想∶这次真的完了。

事后，我终于明白，自己过于自以为是，认为草草了事还是能过关。但事与愿违，我轻率的心态导致了现在的结果，现在我必须为此而付出时间与金钱的代价。至少半年内，我还是一位“基础班”学生...

家人的议论纷纷也让原本坚持的我可能放弃学业，但是一切皆还没明确，我想要在工作中好好思考一番。

Move On

I am leaving here and moving on to a new journey, where I will be doing my degree soon.
Thanks my comrade, thanks my housemate, and thanks everything,everyperson at here.

Reading Or Nothing?

Because of study week, I can stay at home for revision in a whole week while I am not planing to go anywhere in this period of time.

As usual, I woke up at morning(at the beginning, now I think more appropriately to be said at "afternoon"), after having my breakfast(or lunch),I will buy a newspaper. As known that I have been reading "The Edge" currently, but I feel like want to try reading another newspaper. No doubt, "The Edge" is a financial newspaper, all the news are relevant to finance, business, policies and government. It sounds like a professional(indeed,it does) newspaper, maybe I am not at that level, many things I cannot understand when I read it.

So,I decided to buy New Straits Times...unfortunately, It has out of my expected...well, I got to give up for this kind of newspaper. Reason? Nothing---I mean I have been reading nothing as the lacking of interesting contents, I feel like I am reading nothing.

Next stage---The Star,which the newspaper that praised by many suggesters(my friends). Maybe I have put on too much of expectations, the consequently, I give up...

Is that any English newspaper can motivate me to read it???

包容

某些时候，人总是把“包容”挂在嘴边，似乎可以把世间的一切都囊括起来。但是实际上我们永远知道一个道理，说易做难，做起来的时候而又做不到，是不是开始后悔自己说过如此漂亮的话呢？

包容是任何人的缺点都能包容起来，很明显，只有极少数的人可以做到。而我自认是属于多数的一群。

Once more time

I am losing myself when I finished my English assignment---business proposal. The worst part was not elaboration but lecturer. I am not blaming or complaining about the lecturer, but she was just...strict???

Indeed, we cannot achieve what did she want from the business proposal. What we would do were just trying best in presentation. Last two weeks, I was depressed because we had too much of assignments needed to complete, fortunately we were able to handle those hell works.

So, good luck for me for the after days

Clear Mind

I am not praising myself but truly I have obtained clear mind through my effort! Ya, clear mind which will come out during I am doing anything.

So what I am going to do with this ability? Actually I am not a full clear minder even though I could do it very well in sometime, but I still have not faced the true extremely challenges for now.

It is important to have clear mind for solving problems or facing urgent. I has been known that very few people can make it perfectly in any kind of problem, but is that mean we cannot solve the problems without it? It might not as worse as we thought if we without a clear mind, we should use it according the situation that we face.

It is a harder road that you will go through to learn how to have a clear mind, I have not yet gone through the hardest road, so I need to armed myself so that I can master it.

A clear minder never lose himself or herself but always exceed his or her strength!

Another Beginning

Chinese New Year is a special festival for Chineses. I am a Chinese too even we call ourselves as Malaysian but our race still same as Chinese.

One week ago, I went back to my hometown which is Kuantan with my friend. I found that I have lost topics with her,eventually we were best friend and got infinity topics to talk. But it seems like some changing between us in our life, respectively.

When I went back, I never felt any kind of mood of Chinese New Year! What the....
It was incredible until I realized that economics of country is dropping down and high inflation rate has decreased our purchasing power! So many people just had few days of holidays for Chinese New Year.

Now I am back and I will start school on tomorrow, I just wish everyhing will be fine especially my niece can sleep well at night.

反思

那天，我去到时代广场逛逛。实际上可说是毫无目标的行走，只是走马看花罢了。当然我还是有目的性地去到一间模型游戏卡的商店，为的就是买卡。又买卡？没错。当年差点就毁了我前程却让我又爱又恨的游戏王卡。

其实我不应该再涉足决斗界（玩者们对整个游戏的尊称），毕竟我脱离了该界已有一段时间了，虽说不时有去关注决斗界的发展和新卡，可是我与玩者们的距离却是无比的遥远，不管在决斗技巧或经济能力上都相差一大截！

本来的念头是动用个二百多块去“招兵买马”，以来个重出江湖，卷土重来！后来犹豫了很久，还是下不了手。二百多块去买卡？相当年我可是不手软的大手笔丢钱！最后？那些卡还不是贱价卖出！从中学到的是“只有有钱才能得到理想中的卡”，“不停的失败才能改造出最适合最强的卡组”，“也可从卡组的战略看的出玩者的性格与心态”。

虽说有无比的满足感，但是代价太高，耗去的时间与金钱无法挽回。如果作为业余玩者，其实不必太过在意决斗的成果，毕竟卡不能陪你入棺材，而且很难保证游戏王卡长做长有。身为大学生的我不能就此沉沦下去，读大学应该善用时间去做更有意义的事情。

我实在没有勇气和本钱把你作为我的梦想---专业玩家。

2011

老套一句，光阴似箭，又过了一年。真的很快啊！

2010的感觉还在眼前，好像不大“认得”2011。这一年，我希望身体健康，置身于广宣流步，并成功进军金宝！