just begining

now is the second day of the study day~what i learn today is doing anything independently!

no metter what type of homeworks or leacture notes, we must search those things ourself.i can't imagine that if we haven't labtop or don't know about the computer's operate!

i thought i can adapt the new life soonly, but this is diffrent between the reality and imagnie!

i feel stress now, the life in university is just begining!

打击！

终于等到开学了， 真的很期待自己的大学生涯，虽说我曾誓言要考到学位课程，但是说易做难！

今天的上课时还蛮顺利的，只是没想到数学这一科我竟然完全跟不上！我的心情顿时跌到谷底！！我以为数学即使再难我还是可勉强跟得上，现在却万万没想到脆弱的我就这样输给了自己，短时间内我点起了想要转科系的念头，思绪变得极为混乱~

我尽量克服情绪上的干扰，因为在这种情况下做决定时极为危险的，我不想被一时的冲动毁了自己的大学生涯！这是我当时的信念！

跟家人商量过后，决定继续留在这个科系，因为我想到父母用血汗钱来供我读大学，我不禁流下了眼泪~

我恨我自己为什么不争气，小小的搓折就可以毁掉了我的信心~

I HATE MYSELF!!!

The UTAR life

finally i intake utar sucessly, and i beginning my new life in PJ. now i feel that the stress of study because i checked some of the examination papers last year. is difficultly then i thought.

but mostly important is i must hardworking in my study. i don't want be disqualified from utar and i don't want wasting my time in the unmeaning things!

i know some new friends through the orientation days especially in activity ice-breaking and what i feel happy because i found my coursemate !

tomorrow will be the last day of orientation~

失败乃是成功之母

人生的路途从来不可能一帆风顺，有成功的时候就必然也有失败的时候，所以要取得成功就得经过失败，因为经历过失败你才能够明白成功是什么滋味。

该怎么形容我个性上的缺失呢？如果说我并不是个勇于承认自己错误的人一点也不为过，因为很多时候我都很容易被一些小挫折或小批评影响了我的自信心，也严重影响了我当天的情绪，结果我很容易陷入低潮却又不愿面对自己的错失，一直固执地在原地打圈。

这几天我一直在学驾车，之前我是让驾驶学院的老师教导，结果手脚笨拙的我一直不停地被骂。虽然如此，超容易被打击的我就这样一直学不好，因为我潜意识的心态认为我这么笨手笨脚，怎么学也不可能学的会~

时间拖了几天后，一向以来不敢教我驾车的妈妈终于按耐不住出手教我！在学习的过程中我依然不停地出错，妈妈嘴里一直骂我心里却认为我一定能学的好。

虽然现在的我不时仍会出错，但是明显的改善了许多，其实要归功于我的妈妈，她不断的指导我不断的鼓励我，驾车对大部分的人来说很简单，但对我来说是需要时间去学习的~

我并不善于表达情感，但我要感激妈妈的支持~

leaving and countdown

After some days or time of one week I will leave my hometown-KUANTAN and going to PETALING JAYA the big city that is naerly with KUALA LUMPUR for my study. The UNIVERSITY that I am going is UTAR, I will take the course foundation in arts in first year and start my degree course banking&finance in second year.


I have feel that I may not back to kuantan after fininshed my study.Maybe I think that PJ or KL has better condition for my future job. I knew the cost in that places is very high but I more attend to the condition or the environment of the job(s).

When i was thinking about I am leaving KUANTAN I felt that I am leaving everything and everybody in this place. Every memory in this place I won't forget it and keep it on my heart forever.

I have some nervous about my study life in PJ because PJ is big city:high cost,crodwed,speedly life,and bad public security~beside that I more worry about the contend in UNIVERSITY. I know I am not the best one but I will try my best in my study and never compete myself with other people.

The countdown going to PJ is nearly, I am preparing~

Learning

最近几天开始有恢复状态的迹象，毕竟已经回来了一个星期，如果还无法适应家里的环境还真的有点说不过去。所以现在是想办法让自己的状态完全恢复，这样我才能在升学是以最好的状态去学习。

在国民服务的日子里，我学到了什么叫纪律的生活，也学到了人不是单靠自己的力量就能完事，是一种共同创造的力量。然而我在里面的日子并不久，所以学到的也不是非常彻透，只能说是浅尝吧！

这个世界没有一件是不必靠学习回来的，就算是最简单的吃喝拉撒睡也是学回来的，有时很佩服婴儿的毅力，因为在学习走路的过程他们永不言弃的精神，即使跌倒了无数次也爬起来继续走。

学习是靠心，其次是执行~我现在才发现，我连洗衣服也不会，也完全不会驾车，但是为了能够生存，我必须学习，必须用心去学习才能得到我要的结果~

或许放下留恋过去的心也是一种学习吧！

回家

经历了三个星期的国民服务生活，终于得以升学为理由而获得批准提前退营，回家了！回到家还真的有点不惯，似乎一下子变得陌生，但是还是很开心能回到家。

话说回来，我好像变得很懒散，经常觉得很困昏昏欲睡，不知道是什么原因。或许我在里面的生活太疲劳了，太久没有获得真正的休息吧？现在已经接近升学了，我却好像不大愿意去想这些事，我到底怎么了？

回家固然是好事，但是我却不清醒？？？